sometimes you think you’re getting it all right. and then something happens to really put you in your place, or make you see it, and you have to take it from there. a new role. get used to it.
jury duty is one of those events. i got called in during april fools’ day, which had to have been some cruel joke, and had to endure two days of loaded questions over some drunk driver’s Uncle-Sam-given right to a fair trial. i have better things to do. but of course they don’t see it that way. i’m an american citizen, you know, doing my duty.
fortunately, when it came time to speak to the litigators I gave a very intelligent and honest answer. no, i won’t be fair. no, you won’t guilt me into saying that i will be. i don’t see the value in debating the pros and cons of a breathalyzer test.
i’m still an american citizen, and it’s my right not to participate in the process. so, off i went.
easter, and for that matter any holiday significant to children, is another experience that really lets you know your role. for the baby it went great, and it was actually a fun experience seeing it all unfold for this little girl, from the elaborate mass to the organized easter egg “hunt” to the meal and egg-painting.
but you realize that such holidays aren’t for you anymore. they’re for the wee ones. instead of enjoying the hunt for the golden egg, it’s now your job to to set it up, and to document the endeavor, which indeed it turned out to be at certain points, like when said toddler ran into the middle of the fray without exactly knowing what to do once there.
[fortunately my cousin came to break up the baby-focused monotony. and i decided to pick up a few crayons and decorate an egg on my own. i was so proud.]
the time trial on lake merced provided another sense of measure. in my three months of trying to perfect my form on the dragonboat (after two years of apparently just flailing about) and hold on to a tenuous spot on the competitive crew, i thought i was beginning to get it right.
let’s just say it wasn’t good enough this day, not even close, and my frustration built up to a magnificent, roaring crescendo of an expletive before we reached the dock.
i didn’t let the experience get to me, adjusting as i always do and enjoying the barbecue afterward, though i know that more discipline will be necessary to get past this. i may just turn down my volume until i get that validation.
fortunately, i did find a way to get past all the cloaked cynicism and self-loathing. I headed to Eve for Sharon’s birthday, 83 Proof for Geo’s birthday, and Chug Pub for Davin’s. i always tend to stretch myself thin when it comes to celebrating birthdays, but only because, really, you should be fortunate to have friends, and they’re all worth acknowledging.
i used to be a “party guy,” but i don’t really think that ‘nightlife’ is all it’s cracked up to be anymore. my self-consciousness about being on a dance floor has only barely moved towards anything resembling comfort since the first experience at a 7th-grade dance. at this point i think i’m good.
i’d rather be at home catching up on my shows (currently Human Target and The Pacific). it’s like i’m back in high school, staying in and watching TGIF instead of being out on a Friday night.
[or watching movies and making sushi, perhaps, like on Saturday.]
Sunday also remained very Japan-focused, with a quick trip to the Cherry Blossom Festival and an officers’ meeting featuring mochi muffins. i’m sparing you the picture of the 350lb sailor moon, but i think we’re all aware that some people are built for cosplay. some people are not.
and otherwise, it’s back to reading in my own private corner of the 24hr filipino starbucks, ha. feel free to stop by and be contemplative. cheers.
