Which brings me to my niece. She turned 2 [...]]]> Little kids make the world go ’round. It’s not adults, what with our complicated and wanton desires, but the wee ones who gently coax tribute from their parents and families and everyone else who thinks that no cuteness shall go unrewarded.

Which brings me to my niece. She turned 2 not all that long ago, and the occasion called for a party replete with Disney theme and costumes and about 50 mylar balloons that needed to be carried 4 long blocks by your author because there was no room in anyone’s car and because it seemed like a pretty gnarly adventure at least until they got tangled up in some equally gnarly tree branches. But I digress.

She’s smart and can speak clearly beyond the usual grunting and screaming. She eats like there’s no tomorrow, and upon trying to pick her up the first word to come to most people’s minds is “heavy.”

More importantly, though, this little girl finally made me realize that I don’t hate kids, after all.

In college I volunteered for two years at a Vietnamese community center on Geary, doing my best to tutor and teach despite the pushback and brattiness and budding ghetto-ness of the kids that spent their Friday afternoons there. But it didn’t work, and of all things it made me never want to go near kids ever again, though that’s putting it lightly.

All that changed when my niece was born. She was handed to me about a week out of the womb and was roughly the size of a Papalote triple-threat burrito*. And within a split second, I hadn’t even brought her close yet, she pooped.

Feeling that vibration and realizing what happened (and also being unfamiliar with remedial measures) initially horrified me, but at that moment I realized that these kinds of things happen, naturally. Babies poop and cry, because they’re not quite aware of the intricacies of how to run to the bathroom or wipe up or grab a bite to eat just yet.

Extrapolating it a bit, maybe the punkass kids talking back to me at the community center so many years before didn’t know any better, either. They weren’t aware that I was using my free time to help them and that I would’ve appreciated if they shut their yaps for just a few minutes so we can get through their homework, upon whose conclusion the screaming may begin again in earnest.

So that’s why kids do what they do, and, hopefully, cut the crap as they mature. Now I love kids, and have the patience to deal with them. While I won’t be running a daycare anytime soon, having kids in my presence is no longer something I dread.

And it all started with the poop. Maybe it wasn’t the most sanitary epiphany the world has ever seen, but I’ll take it.

So when I get a call from people I haven’t seen in a while, I go. College friends, people [...]]]> It’s hard to maintain friendships with those you barely see. There really aren’t very many people who you can lose touch with for long periods of time and then suddenly pick up right where you left off.

So when I get a call from people I haven’t seen in a while, I go. College friends, people I could’ve known in high school, people from the east bay, old paddlers, I try to keep everyone relevant.

[These were all kind of a while ago, I'll admit, but a lot happens in a month.]

Pretty much every time you see these kinds of people it goes like “how have you been, it’s been hella long!” So you dig deep to remember everyone’s names, the enormity of the epic adventures you all had previously and whatever you’d recently heard about them on facebook. You string all that into some type of narrative to get past those awkward few minutes of catching up, and then you play it by ear.

When the catching up is officially done, you’re in the present and officially free to act like you’d never parted in the first place. Then you repeat the process when you see them again, months or years later.

And as much as I’d like to see everyone again, it remains impossible, what with budgets and schedules and workloads and babies and stuff. We’ve all grown up and apart, and those of us with the cameras are the only ones observant enough to take notice.

But if you don’t want to lose these people forever, you have to try.

the first big event since the last time was, at long last, the wrap-up of the 2009 dragonboat season. it took a damn long while, i’ll admit, but the planning and the unnecessary need to make [...]]]> 35 days! yeah. it’s been a long, cold month. meanwhile, i’ve been playing a game of circumstances. let me explain.

the first big event since the last time was, at long last, the wrap-up of the 2009 dragonboat season. it took a damn long while, i’ll admit, but the planning and the unnecessary need to make our banquet nice like Space Dragons did make it better than last year’s slumber party. awards abounded. the food was passable.

but something was missing. maybe i felt like i was gonna get a bigger award. maybe it was how my date to the damned thing didn’t work out. maybe it was the frustration of escaping a crowded club, taking the absolutely wrong roads, ending up in alameda, then accidentally coming back across the bridge.

whatever it was, i needed some calming down, which was achieved only by a malt and patty melt at orphan andy’s at 5am.

so i had a while to stew it over. what usually helps is to be around some new people, to seek a different crowd. fortunately, AiLin’s birthday at Dave & Buster’s was that friday. the food was good, they had beer, and i couldn’t really complain otherwise, other than a few somewhat awkward moments brought upon me.

the next night was jamie’s birthday at element, and it was good to see some old coworkers that are still young enough to celebrate these things. the theme was pork/bacon/pigs, which included a roasted lechon and bacon-sprinkled donuts. it was bacon overload, to be honest, so i actually showed some restraint.

afterward i met keip and dan at kezar pub, where we discussed the viability of going to college in wisconsin and told of the funny chinese names we knew over some pizza. “forever wong” and “harry wang” were a hit.

thanksgiving came later in the week, and it couldn’t come soon enough. if 2008 was a down year, this was supposed to be better. and it was, in a lot of ways, but there’s still plenty of work to be done, and a lot of things i wish i could’ve handled better.

those things, however, didn’t involve food. i made an appetizer of tuna pintxos, which were a hit, and brought a studebaker cheesecake from andronico’s. it didn’t take long to catch up with the rest of the family, so, predictably, we got to spend 90% of the remaining time taking pictures of Claire. apparently it’s all we do until the next grandkid pops out.

afterward, we went to see the independent films being shown directly on the walls of Coit tower it was interesting, but it was also quite cold.

unlike the rest of america, i didn’t overeat the day before, and i didn’t spend anything on black friday. one of the better lessons i’ve learned in 2009 was to disregard the american tradition of overconsumption. so, there i was, content in my frugality and un-gluttonousness, watching a whole bunch of football.

being content is rare, in general, so i reveled in every second i could before the next social event.

…which came the next day. alma had her 30th birthday party in san jose, and it was an 80s affair. fortunately, i had a throwaway blazer in my trunk, so i put it on and rolled up the sleeves to look like don johnson from Miami Vice. it came full circle wen i walked in the door and Phil was dressed as detective tubbs.

again, alma and miguel never fail to throw great parties. lots of interesting people and a ton of pictures.

that night i made it back into the city just in time for the tail-end of kristine’s birthday party [or what was left of it] at bruno’s. the celebrant and her girls were falling asleep and only drinking water, her useless boyfriend sat there and took up space, and i started to get really bored. so, i did what i do best, and i started yapping.

i got sufficient entertainment out of it, and headed home. sometimes you just have to take matters into your own hands.

early the next tuesday i heard some horrible news about a high school friend of mine. So-Youn passed away in Morocco recently and her local memorial service would be that night. while i didn’t talk to her all that much, her sister was a good friend of mine and i can’t imagine losing a sibling.

so, off to the service i went, and fortunately i did run into a few people i knew. it wasn’t the greatest feeling in the world to find out that someone died so young, but her contributions to the peace corps and to her family & friends preceded her. i did lose it at some point, as anyone reflecting back on such a great life would, but i think we can look at the positive effect she had and try to move forward as So-Youn would like us to.

i did end up making it to trivia tuesday afterward, and the beer and loads of pringles took at least some of the edge off of the night. well deserved.

that wednesday the dragonboat team decided that they loved each other too much to not see each other again until next season, and had a potluck. 30 people ended up coming. suffice to say, i was glad to see them.

not having the time to make anything, i picked up some appetizers from Marnee Thai [overpriced, but it was on the way] and we watched the final-final version of the team’s year-end video. it’s nice to know that about 65% of the photos came from my camera.

we also started planning stanley’s 21st birthday. to start, raymond is in charge of strippers, i’m bringing alcohol, kristine is choosing the venue, and mike is bringing the midgets. it’s gonna be awesome.

with a renewed need for a new crowd, the next night i helped dave and his oregon duck friends secure a table at R-Bar for the Oregon vs. Oregon State matchup, with the winner going to the Rose Bowl. this being my first Oregon game at an Oregon bar, i came to one conclusion: Oregon fans are nuts.

at some point it was impossible to move due to the crowds. scott armstrong showed up to start his birthday celebration, but the majority of the night was spent drinking bud light out of readily available tall cans and emulating the sound and the fury of Autzen stadium as best we could.

we closed out the night at the bars on Polk, and i pulled away before they headed to Kozy Kar, enjoying the company, the manhattans, and the thai fried rice. these were awesome people.

i caught my fourth movie of 2009 that friday when we watched “Up in the Air” at the sf center. it’s good to see movies where a character has such a parallel to your own life, especially when it’s done well, and even more so when it contains the eventual transformation. go see it. dooo eeet.

that weekend was victor’s birthday, so i met him and the girls at Swig. even though their initial request, upon my arrival, was “where else can we go so the guys can meet more drunk bitches?” we ended up sticking around until they kicked everyone out, including Mr. Carreon.

i’d recommend against going to Lori’s Diner under all circumstances, however, since it’s overpriced even compared to Mel’s. we might as well have gone to lucky chances!

i didn’t have huge expectations for that night, given that the last time i partied on nob hill was the “we will party proper, there will be many bitches” incident from 2007 which followed a daft punk concert. but it was a good time.

the workweek seemed to fly by, with a visit to trivia tuesday and an interview in campbell on friday.sudden hunger at 8pm landed me at sam wo, and we ended up in the marina for dessert. let’s just say we couldn’t quite agree on what the ideal of “the one” versus “the best one at the time” really was. you know what i’m talking about. yeah you do.

things were looking up for the weekend, which started with jacinda’s birthday party in menlo park. though an important piece was missing again, the old crew was back and the newbies kept it interesting.

and yesterday i dropped by the tail-end of the dragonboat team’s fundraiser at sports basement [bought some running gloves] and then headed to tanforan for christopher’s birthday. one thing remains clear: i don’t hang out with my filipinos often enough.

fortunately, most of my november and december didn’t require consolation or validation after said events, but sometimes you need it in one form or another. i used to turn to video games, now i turn to ‘my peeps.’

what do you do?

so, shall we?

most people know [...]]]> alright, let’ get to the details, it’s been a busy month. and as much as i say that i intend to update this thing more often, i keep getting dragged back into the void. i’m not even going to worry about specific chronological order this time, but you’ll get the idea.

so, shall we?

most people know that i do freelance work, which doesn’t exactly keep me chained to a desk from 9-5. i’ve always been into print and web advertising, and eventually wanted to get into making commercials. i started to take a community college class in broadcast engineering, and fortunately the program has the best equipment in the bay area.

as expected, the class is pretty motley, all ages and backgrounds, but they’ve come together and we seem to be learning a lot. lighting, camera operation, audio, the whole damn deal. twice a week isn’t too much to sacrifice for some kind of self-enrichment.

[either way i hope this class will make me more useful on a set than the last time, where i just kind of stood there like a bumbling idiot.]

a few weeks ago brenda finally had a goodbye / heave-ho party for her trip to thailand. though she won’t be gone quite for good [to be honest i already thought she left and came back], i don’t see her and the crew often enough anymore. let’s just say that there’s no party quite like an inner-sunset party.

with some kind of urgency, we immediately followed the sunset and blackthorn gatherings with a trip to north beach. when things started to drag,  i ran into some teammates for tiffany’s visit back to the city, though her pending friend request likely means she was too inebriated to remember me. the basement of bubble lounge was also, really, really sweaty.

either way, my network kind of assures me that if things start to suck, i’m just one “hey charles what are you doing here?” from turning things completely around. the receipt of drunken texts also helps to lighten the mood.

we also resumed the elementary school reunions. it was interesting to see everyone after 13 years ago, but this time all the petty differences were forgotten and we were just a bunch of adults having a great conversation. though i’ll admit, these conversations usually went “so what happened to so-and-so?” followed by either “doing well” or “had a kid” [or in one case "is incarcerated"].

it was a great time, and good to see how they were all doing. well, except maybe one. i mean, the purpose of a reunion is to reunite, right? you can silently stick to a corner at home!

i did catch one last giants game before their season ended, the series opener with the chicago cubs, caught, of course, with my chicago homies. we made a few friends in the stands and had a lot of pretty good beer, even if the game didn’t exactly turn out as planned for the locals.

if you’re not on a date, i’d suggest sitting in the bleacher seats, as adventures (and beer) abound.

the biggest deal in the past month, though, was the treasure island dragonboat race. a whole weekend of nothing but saltwater racing in san francisco bay. it started with a party at b-bar at yerba buena, which wouldn’t have been a bad venue if the weather was, you know, hot. but it wasn’t. we made do.

i ran into a lot of old friends, made some new ones, and had a great time. the pictures were incredible as well. and my boat eventually got a gold medal. no complaints. even my niece got a present!

[and the food was pretty good, even though i was unnecessarily tagged on 54 'replay all' emails during its planning process. ugh.]

it was all topped off with an interesting afterparty at o’neil’s, a bar, involving underaged children and lots of beer and food and yelling. maybe it wasn’t the most elegant way to end the weekend, but it worked for some.

i also got to see some friends’ band perform at a couple of venues. i first caught late nite drive at el rincon in the mission, and shortly after at grant & green. maybe i’m not exactly into indie rock, if not classic-y rock, but i’m there.the company made it worth it, the pictures made it worth remembering.

unfortunately i missed flyhead’s last show at blake’s, but i’ll get to that in a minute.

the latest epic story is from this past weekend- i was supposed to see an air show, go to a get-together, see flyhead at blake’s, go to the mission for nancy’s birthday shindig, and wake up all hung over on sunday.

let’s just say that none of it went exactly as planned, and at some point i lost my ID. walking 30 blocks back to my car up above the broadway tunnel was fun. so was explaining to the doormen at blake’s that i was really 26 and couldn’t find my ID. along with receiving some misdirected text messages.

things ended well, however, with a great late dinner and a trip to bob’s shagtastic house of donuts. i actually ended up finding my ID at the goddamn donut shop.

[herb-crusted ahi tuna and/or pastry tends to make everything better, regardless.]

so i guess it’s really all about how you compare what you went in with, and what you came out with. on your own scale. you don’t need to drop a grand a night to have an epic weekend.

[the niners don't need to win, either, though that would certainly help]

i mean, it isn’t so much of a downer story, just [...]]]> sometimes you come to the [often horrible] realization that you’re not as good as you think you are, or that you’re no longer capable of something you once were. other times you realize that point a little too late. i’m having one of those months.

i mean, it isn’t so much of a downer story, just that i’m used to making it to every single social event, every practice, and meeting every deadline, without any concessions.

[and put up the pictures on facebook. and flickr. and then write about it. right here.]

it would all be nice and doable if i had the powers of my favorite late marvel superhero, multiple-man [though an impact-resistant suit would be necessary], but i don’t. this is the downside to knowing so many people who are worth acknowledging- you can’t acknowledge them all when the screaming begins.

with dragonboat practice three times a week, ‘free time’ has been hard to come by. we have another race in about two weeks, but i don’t think it’s anything the team can’t handle, even if recruitment is still a bit down from a year ago. at least the drama’s been kept to a minimum, though it’s definitely there.

i, on the other hand, am starting to get more fatigued as the team tries to get more and more competitive. higher stroke rates, for what? we don’t get paid enough [or at all] to risk so much exhaustion and bodily injury. i’m trying my best, and don’t often prefer being the whipping boy on the b-boat, but at least i can more capably contribute in other ways.

so with all that time during the week dedicated to the stanky waters of lake merced, and most of the rest of it spent at the computer and on the phone dealing with clients, the ‘me time’ hasn’t been in as much supply as i would have hoped by this age.

the weekends seem to get more and more packed, and my willingness to stretch myself so thin has started to take its toll. the june weekends have been alternately lethargic and frenetic. and this is without the dating- i’ll save that story for next week.

city hiking and coffee and cthulhu [i've been reading HP lovecraft work in earnest lately, though slowly] give way to mad dashes across the bay area to go to practice, weddings, fundraisers, street festivals, barbecues, birthdays, “azn clubbing” and poker nights.

at least the north beach festival was good, even if it did involve a round trip up and over telegraph hill. carlos’ club on the peninsula for the dieselfish fundraiser was, oddly enough, a pretty happening place. the wedding in livermore was alright, if only i didn’t have a migraine.

and there were plenty of birthdays, of which i considered participation in festivities to be compulsory. brad’s birthday at sutra was alright, though i saw a few displeasing things and ended up calling it early. fannie/katherine/anthony’s birthdays on twin peaks had some good food and a bunch of people i haven’t seen in a while, but i was only able to stay an hour. kristine’s birthday at dna lounge… let’s just say that gay pride weekend in san francisco isn’t exactly a time for your average straight metropolitan asian male to be at a divey club. but it did have its moments, even if my arm did receive a glancing blow from a recklessly speeding car as we crossed the street.

the family had a lot of things to celebrate as well, from mike’s 32nd birthday to father’s day and gerald & alnette’s engagement happy hour. my niece’s first birthday, fortunately, turned out not being as ickysticky as i thought it was gonna be.

though celebrations with my immediate family always tend to be small and reflect the tight-knit nature of the clan, claire’s birthday was a gigantic multi-family affair, replete with mandatory sesame street tshirts. and american-gladiators-like padded obstacle courses.

maybe it’s the way i deal with peer pressure, or my habit of always trying to make an impression. i can’t meet everyone’s demands or make every event, though i try to. there’s so much to do, and everyone’s important. ii’m just learning how not to get myself sick in the process.

but even if i’m there for 10 minutes or so, i hope i made an impression.