Its fair to say that growing up has made me better at reacting to negativity. Certain comments no longer get me angry or offended. Now I keep my mouth shut and think things through. Or I brush off certain things just to make sure everyone else is having a good time.

Not to say i’m a robot- [...]]]>

Its fair to say that growing up has made me better at reacting to negativity. Certain comments no longer get me angry or offended. Now I keep my mouth shut and think things through. Or I brush off certain things just to make sure everyone else is having a good time.

Not to say i’m a robot- things still get to me. Things still get on my nerves and keep me up at night. I grieve and deny the truth and struggle with my emotions just like everyone else.

You probably just couldn’t tell.

As San Francisco goes through its annual bipolar weather season, with hail and bright hot sunshine on alternating days, I realize I’ve never really cared what it’s like outside.

(Given, all everyone talks about on hot days are how nice it is outside, and how they’re going to do something picnicky or outdoorsy because, well, it’s suddenly [...]]]>

As San Francisco goes through its annual bipolar weather season, with hail and bright hot sunshine on alternating days, I realize I’ve never really cared what it’s like outside.

(Given, all everyone talks about on hot days are how nice it is outside, and how they’re going to do something picnicky or outdoorsy because, well, it’s suddenly the thing to do.)

I mean, I like nice weather just like everyone else. Unlike most everyone else, however, I don’t think nice weather is required for full enjoyment of anything in particular.

Maybe it’s the constant fog and cool here. Or how a good portion of my life is spent indoors. But no matter how I look at it, you need to do your best to live well every damn day, never cutting any corners or waiting until something out of your control (i.e. the weather) is just right.

So don’t wait. The last thing you should be concerned about is the weather.

I’ve found most of my weekends to be pleasantly surprising. I don’t go out of my way to enforce expectations of being somewhere with so-and-so or this or that group doing something in particular, with photos to prove it.

Plans aren’t what you expected. One group calls you instead of another, and some broke college kid at [...]]]>

I’ve found most of my weekends to be pleasantly surprising. I don’t go out of my way to enforce expectations of being somewhere with so-and-so or this or that group doing something in particular, with photos to prove it.

Plans aren’t what you expected. One group calls you instead of another, and some broke college kid at the front desk screws up your reservation.

You’re left with a slightly different crowd, but they’re pleasant in their own way. You end up somewhere that happened to be a little more accommodating. Or maybe you decided to take a different path altogether.

You just need to adapt. New friends can be made and new experiences can be had. Because the only expectations you need to exceed are your own.

I don’t like saying I’ve found a groove. A groove can too easily devolve into a rut. Rhythms, though, can adapt. Feel like adding a crescendo or two right there? Go ahead. And like any good live music set, mistakes can be ironed out, if people are even aware.

I’ve found a process that works. Get up, [...]]]>

I don’t like saying I’ve found a groove. A groove can too easily devolve into a rut. Rhythms, though, can adapt. Feel like adding a crescendo or two right there? Go ahead. And like any good live music set, mistakes can be ironed out, if people are even aware.

I’ve found a process that works. Get up, get in and out of the office at a decent time, see my friends or what’s-her-face when I can, go to dragonboat when I have time, and read. All fueled with coffee, of course.

And I guess I haven’t found a way to break the rhythm often enough to update this thing, hence the hiatus.

I guess I’ll just have to work it in, along with all the other adjustments I make each day.

Leave it to me, an avid reader of short stories, to assemble, unintentionally, a life of strung-together short stories. There really isn’t much continuity from beginning to end, I’ve realized, except for maybe the backdrop, meandering (though steady) career path and ethnic makeup.

I mean, you can really only do so much. You’re in control [...]]]>

Leave it to me, an avid reader of short stories, to assemble, unintentionally, a life of strung-together short stories. There really isn’t much continuity from beginning to end, I’ve realized, except for maybe the backdrop, meandering (though steady) career path and ethnic makeup.

I mean, you can really only do so much. You’re in control of who you keep in your life. Even at over 2000 Facebook friends, communication is at a premium. I barely talk to people from high school, or college, and if I do these interactions are limited to the usual (and, more often than not, unfulfilled) “yeah, we should totally hang out sometime”.

In most cases, if you’re right in front of me you’ll have my attention, until one of us moves on. And I move on pretty quick. Especially with drama or a particularly nasty breakup or, as I’ve come to discover, a discovery of more applicable intelligence elsewhere (not to say those left behind are unintelligent, just that their intelligence, at least for the time being, isn’t very entertaining).

Maybe it’s because i’m picky. I’m particular about who I associate with, and how we associate, and how that association reflects upon all my other associations. it doesn’t take a degree in advertising to realize that perception is everything. That is, perception without deception, anyway.

Then again, there’s everyday life. People move to Singapore. Or Dubai. Communication becomes harder. Beers can no longer be shared on a regular basis. But that’s okay, because you found a great opportunity somewhere else and need to take it. Or maybe you just got bored of me. Which is okay. Really.

So if we’ve somehow fallen out of touch unfairly, in your opinion, I apologize. Perhaps we can share a beverage of some sort, at your convenience, of course. We can then continue this chapter of our story.

And maybe it won’t be such a short one, after all.

Given that I’ve never been into the holidays at any point, not even my own birthday, I take great effort to enjoy the everyday. The rituals, the commute, lunch and dinner and coffee. I revel in it.

Christmas, Thanksgiving, the fourth of July… All great times, sure, but that’s once a year. Then come another 51 weeks [...]]]>

Given that I’ve never been into the holidays at any point, not even my own birthday, I take great effort to enjoy the everyday. The rituals, the commute, lunch and dinner and coffee. I revel in it.

Christmas, Thanksgiving, the fourth of July… All great times, sure, but that’s once a year. Then come another 51 weeks of waiting. Good luck.

I don’t like to live in stops and starts. I don’t believe in starving myself to wait for something bigger. I think of moderation, sweating the details, and being consistent. Having a full 365 1/4 days (yes, it’s a leap year) that you can actually enjoy.

Which is probably why I never take vacations. And probably why my Facebook photos are never as exciting as yours.

To me, though, they don’t need to be.

No, this isn’t a post about being single.

Anyway, i’m not always in the company of heroes. I go for drives, get coffee and, when necessary, dine alone, which I did earlier tonight at some no-name Thai restaurant on Geary, in the photo above.

Dining alone is something I never really thought I’d do, until I kind of [...]]]>

No, this isn’t a post about being single.

Anyway, i’m not always in the company of heroes. I go for drives, get coffee and, when necessary, dine alone, which I did earlier tonight at some no-name Thai restaurant on Geary, in the photo above.

Dining alone is something I never really thought I’d do, until I kind of had to on New Year’s Eve 2008.

I was at dinner with an inordinate number of Asian friends at a great restaurant in downtown San Francisco. As midnight approached, however, they all took off for their Asian club party. I passed on the event (why pay $100+ to celebrate with strangers?), and suddenly a group of 20+ was reduced to, well, me.

Anyway, the bill was paid and I was lingering to finish my 7th Makers Manhattan before I’d head to the Mission district for a house party.

Right then, however I decided I wanted some goddamn dessert. I ordered a creme brulee and coffee, and it was goddamn delicious.

(Naturally I was using the word “goddamn” a lot after having 7 Manhattans)

I mean, after seven drinks anything would’ve been delicious, but what made it great, I would discover, was the solitude. I didn’t have to yap or tell a story or entertain anyone. I could drink my coffee. And not have to save the best part of the creme brulee for a scantily clad companion (this time, anyway).

Fine dining, up until that point, I’d always considered a group activity. Sometimes, though, all you want is a good meal.

As I sit here in the only available seat in the far corner of this coffee shop, I think back about 24 years to a very distinct childhood memory: being sent to the corner in kindergarten.

We were told to stand in a circle and then make the circle as big as we could while still holding [...]]]>

As I sit here in the only available seat in the far corner of this coffee shop, I think back about 24 years to a very distinct childhood memory: being sent to the corner in kindergarten.

We were told to stand in a circle and then make the circle as big as we could while still holding hands. So we backed up. And kept going. As I backed up, I accidentally kicked some really big stuffed animal. Everyone started pointing and yelling “OOOOOOOOHHHHH”, and the teacher made me stand in the corner.

I had no idea what the hell was going on, but there I was, bawling in the corner. Of course, as a child you can’t control your sense of speech as you sob, with some unexplained breathing reflex kicking in that gets you all snotty and sniffly until you’re one big mucus-laden mess. I don’t even remember the aftermath.

I didn’t change a thing, and I was never again sent to the corner. Since I didn’t devolve into a life of crime and extended prison stays since then, I guess it was an isolated incident.

I’ve found myself picking up more and more checks in recent years. Not because there’s a mountain of cash i’m plowing my way through, but because I like the company. And maybe something else.

I wouldn’t call it a show of force, but it’s politics. People will be nicer to you if you pay for things, whether [...]]]>

I’ve found myself picking up more and more checks in recent years. Not because there’s a mountain of cash i’m plowing my way through, but because I like the company. And maybe something else.

I wouldn’t call it a show of force, but it’s politics. People will be nicer to you if you pay for things, whether they want you to or not.

Donate to someone’s cause. Pay for dinner. Buy an unnecessary gift. Suddenly whatever conflicts you had recently become a little more buried, a little less important. You move on. And you probably got yourself another mulligan.

Because, really, goodwill is worth its weight in gold.

So yesterday I forgot that it was my mom’s birthday. Worse, they were having a celebration at home and I didn’t get out of the office until very late.

At someone’s wise suggestion, I picked up flowers in Glen Park on the way back. I walked in, the fact that I was late was glossed over and [...]]]>

So yesterday I forgot that it was my mom’s birthday. Worse, they were having a celebration at home and I didn’t get out of the office until very late.

At someone’s wise suggestion, I picked up flowers in Glen Park on the way back. I walked in, the fact that I was late was glossed over and all was forgiven.

It made me think of other times I had to do a make-good. From making up for lateness and offending people to accidental affronts and cockblocks, we’ve all been there. My penance has run the gamut from dinners and lunches to coffee and beer (particularly).

In the end, everyone’s happy and all actions are accounted for. We do what we can.